7:40 It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday

01-16-21_8-21-19 PM

Kyndall sat with her parents watching Victoria toddle around the room. She was explaining to them that she was ending her treatment. They were both upset like she knew they would be, but they also seemed to understand that the choice was hers to make and why she was doing it.

“There is something else I need to talk to the two of you about.”

She looked over at her daughter before looking back at them.

01-16-21_8-21-57 PM

“Cason and I decided that until he finishes school, someone needs to care for Victoria.”

Campbell felt that it was Cason’s responsibility, but didn’t say anything. He knew it would upset Kyndall and he didn’t want that.  He was going to tell her that she couldn’t take their granddaughter away to let someone else raise, but Abby spoke up first.

“Darling, you know that your father and I would be happy to continue helping you with Victoria. We love her and like having her here.”

Kyndall shook her head. “Mom, you wouldn’t be helping me with her. You would be given custody of her until Cason is out of school. You and Dad will be raising her yourselves until then.”

01-16-21_8-22-05 PM

Campbell frowned as he listened to the conversation. “What about Cason? Is he planning to be around at all the next three years?”

Kyndall nodded her head. “He will be home on weekends and holidays as long as he doesn’t have a game. He wants to see her and be a part of her life. He just has school to finish right now.”

Campbell shook his head. “He has his daughter to raise. That should be his priority.”

01-16-21_8-22-30 PM

Kyndall knew he would react like this. “Dad, her father finishing school will give her a better life. He will be able to find a better job and care for her. That is the reason that we both agreed that he needs to finish school. He was ready to quit and care for her, but I wouldn’t let him.”

“I don’t like any of this, Kyndall.”

“I know, Dad. It’s not what I dreamed for my daughter either, but it’s the best option.”

She looked over at her daughter. “If you don’t want to take care of her for me, I’ll take her over to Cason’s parents. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind her being there too much.”


I want to thank everyone who has been patient with the delayed posts. I am sorry about that. Life caught up to me.

Today marks three years since I introduced you all to Coleen and Izaiah. Now we are close to starting generation 8. Can you believe it? I sure can’t.

7:39 Forever

11-19-20_5-55-01 PM

As Victoria grew, Kyndall spent all her time with her. She wanted to make sure that her daughter knew how much her mother loved her. Not once did Kyndall ever regret her decision to have her daughter. The little girl was her entire world at the moment.

She watched as she took her first wobbly steps towards her mother and caught her into her arms with a big hug. “Such a big girl. Mama’s proud of you.”

11-19-20_5-56-00 PM

She smiled when the little girl wrapped her short pudgy arms around her. “Your daddy would be proud of you too. You will have to show him how much of a big girl you are when he comes to see you this weekend.”

Cason had kept his promise that he would stay in their lives while he was finishing school. He visited every weekend and any other time that he could. If he had a game, he would come as soon as he was free to. Both Kyndall and Victoria loved his visits.

When he hadn’t answered her calls, she had worried that he had changed his mind, but that worry was relieved when he did call her back. He had been on a plane heading to one of their games and hadn’t been able to call. He called as soon as the plane landed. Since then, she had a copy of his game schedule so she would know when he was away and when it would be okay to call him.

11-19-20_5-58-02 PM

She carried Victoria downstairs to get her ready for their daily walk to the park. They had developed a routine that they stuck to every day when the weather allowed it. Victoria would wake up and they would spend the mornings just cuddling together for awhile before breakfast. Then they would call Cason and talk to him on video chat while he got ready for his classes. 

Campbell smiled when he saw his girls. “Did you two have a nice nap?”

Kyndall put Victoria down and smiled when she slowly stumbled her way over to her grandparents. The smile she saw on her dad’s face as he watched his granddaughter starting to walk made her smile.

“We did. She woke up about half an hour ago and laid there quietly waiting for me to wake up.”

“Your grandma brought over some new books for Victoria. She was hoping to see her, but didn’t want to wake the two of you. She said she will come back this evening after dinner.”

Kyndall nodded and looked through the books. She smiled when she saw one that she had enjoyed as a little girl. “Victoria, do you want Mommy to read you a book before we go to the park?”

She smiled as the little girl clapped her hands in response. She loved to be read to almost as much as she loved to play at the park.

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Kyndall sat down so she was closer to her daughter’s level and opened the book. She read her the story about the little  puppy with spots who had gotten separated from his brothers and sisters and got lost after he took his time going home.  She showed Victoria the pictures as she read the story to her. 

When the story was finished and she closed the book she saw the little girl smiling and already heading for  the door. She smiled and stood up.

“You need to wait for me, little stinker.”

11-19-20_6-03-17 PM

At the park, Kyndall watched Victoria playing in the ball pitt. It was always the first stop for the little girl before she would run through the tunnels. Kyndall always stayed where she could see her daughter and where Victoria could see her. The one time that she had sat down and Victoria lost sight of her for just a few seconds, the little girl had started crying.

Kyndall smiled as she watched her daughter laughing and playing. She was glad she was a happy little girl and didn’t have to worry about the things that went through her mind every day. She was enjoying herself and that was what mattered the most to Kyndall. She wanted her daughter to be happy and not have to worry about anything.


7:38 Higher Love

11-13-20_3-12-06 AM

The lawyer sat watching the young woman as she explained why she was there. This wasn’t something she typically heard of from someone this young. 

“You are certain that this is what you want to do? The father does not want to take responsibility of your daughter?”

As much as Kyndall wished that there was another option, this was their only one. At least the only one that would give Victoria the life she deserved.

“We want to do this. It is what we feel we need to do in order to protect our daughter.”

“You want to give custody to your parents?”

11-13-20_3-12-25 AM

Kyndall wanted to say no. She wanted to say that she wanted to live to see her daughter grow up and have her own family. She wanted to say to just forget this entiree meeting, but she couldn’t.

“Yes. Only until Cason finishes school though. Then they can decide from there who Victoria will live with. “

The laywer didn’t agree, but it wasn’t her choice to make. If it was, the father would be taking care of his daughter.

“I will get the paperwork ready and send it to you. I need the information of the father so I can also send the paperwork to him. He’ll need to sign everything and send it back.”

Kyndall nodded and wrote down the information for her. She handed the paper to the lawyer before getting up to head home.


11-13-20_3-16-06 AM

Kyndall held her daughter in her arms, cuddling her close. It was hard being close to Victoria and knowing her time with her was limited. She wanted to spend as much time as possible with her though. She needed to fit an entire lifetime into what time she had.

“Mommy did something today that is going to make sure that you will always be safe, taken care of, and loved. I hope that when you are old enough you will understand why your Mommy and Daddy felt that we had to do this for you.”

She kissed her daughter’s forehead and laid her back in the bed. “We both love you very much, little princess. We’ll do whatever we have to do to give you the life that you deserve to have.

11-13-20_3-17-43 AM

She went into her bedroom next door and called Cason. She frowned when she got his voicemail knowing that his classes and practice would be over. She wondered where he was and why he wasn’t answering his phone. She left him a voice mail asking him to call her as soon as he was able to. She hoped it would be soon. She was exhausted and wanted to sleep.


7:37 Don’t Go Breaking My Heart

11-13-20_12-00-37 AM

Cason listened to Kyndall as they talked about their daughter and what they had decided would be the best for her. It was not an easy choice for either of them to make, but they both knew that in the end, it would be good for Victoria.

“I will talk to the lawyer tomorrow and get things taken care of. “

Cason could see in her eyes that this wasn’t what she had hoped for when they started this conversation. He hated that she was hurting, but he also knew that she understood why this was the only choice they truly had.

11-13-20_12-02-33 AM

“Kyndall, please don’t be upset with me. This isn’t easy for me either. That is our little girl…our daughter.”

Kyndall nodded and wiped at a tear on her cheek. “I know. I just wish we didn’t have to do this.”

He pulled her closer against him and kissed her forehead. “So do I. It’s going to be hard as fuck for me to sign those papers. I didn’t expect to love her as much as I do.”

Kyndall gave a little smile as she listened to him. “She does seem to be super cute. I think she knows it and uses it against us.”

As if Victoria knew they were talking about her, she started to cry in the room next door. Cason got up and smiled. “Let me take care of her this t ime.”

11-13-20_12-05-13 AM

Kyndall nodded and gave him a few minutes alone with their daughter before she followed. It broke her heart when she saw him cuddling Victoria and hearing what he was saying to her. She stayed back a bit so she wouldn’t interrupt him.

Cason held his daughter and looked down at her sweet, innocent face. “I want you to never forget that Daddy loves you.”

He laid Victoria back in her bed and turned seeing Kyndall. “I should probably go. I need to pack my things before I leave.”

11-13-20_12-07-32 AM

Kyndall walked outside with Cason. She didn’t want him to leave, but she knew that he needed to get back to school. “Drive safely.”

He turned and looked at her when he heard her voice. “Please don’t cry, Kyndall.” He pulled her into his arms and held her close to him.”It kills me to see you cry. Please tell me how to make this better. I’ll do anything.”

She shook her head as she clung to him. “I wish there was something you could do. I wish there was something anybody could do.”

He looked at her and wiped a tear from her cheek. “I’ll stay if you want me to.”

She looked up at him giving a tiny smile. “I know you would. I need you to finish school though. That is what is important right now. That is what Victoria needs you to do.”

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He kissed her softly. “I love you, Kyndall. I love both of my girls.”

She nodded her head. “I know. We both do.” 

She started to step back from him, but he didn’t let her go. “You need to get going, Cason.”

“A few more minutes won’t hurt anything.”

11-13-20_12-08-21 AM

She smiled and wrapped her arms around him hugging him. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too. I’ll see you at spring break.” It felt like it would be forever before he saw her again. He wasn’t sure he would be able to stay away that long.

“Let me know what the lawyer says. I can make the trip back to sign the papers if I need to.” He saw the pain return to her eyes. “Hey. Everything is going to be okay. It’s only a temporary situation.”

11-13-20_12-08-54 AM

He gave her another soft kiss before he stepped away. “I’ll call you when I get back to Britechester.” He reached out and softly caressed her cheek again. “I love you, Kyndall.”

She watched as he turned and walked away. She wanted to call him back and beg him to stay, but she knew that their daughter’s future depended on him returning to school and finishing. It would only be two more years. They could wait that long for him. They had to wait that long. There was no other option for them.

11-13-20_12-11-52 AM

Once he was out of sight, She went inside knowing she needed to talk to her parents about the decision they had made. They were still on the sofa in the living room. 

She watched them for a several seconds and couldn’t help smiling. They had been together for over 20 years now and they still acted like love starved teenagers. It had embarrassed her when she was younger, but now she couldn’t help wish that it could be that way for her and Cason.

Her mom looked up and saw her watching them. “Everything okay, darling?”

Kyndall gave a little shrug. “Can we talk?”

Campbell nodded as he frowned a little at his daughter. “What’s going on, Princess?”

She hated dropping this on them. Her father already had a pretty rotten day. His mother had called him that morning to tell him that his grandfather hadn’t woken up that morning. He had spent the day with his parents helping them plan the funeral.

“Are you okay, Daddy?”

He gave a little nod as he watched her sit down beside him. “I’m fine, Sweetheart. Your grandma and your aunt are taking it badly though.”

“I’ll go see Grandma tomorrow.” 

“She’ll like that. Maybe take Victoria over to see her?”

Kyndall nodded. “I need to talk to you two about Victoria actually.”

Abby frowned as she looked at her daughter. “Is she okay?”

Kyndall smiled and nodded. “She’s fine. It’s about something else.”

She told them about the decision that Cason and her had come to about Victoria and her future.

11-13-20_12-13-06 AM

Campbell listened to her then looked over at Abby. “Did I hear all of that correctly?”

Kyndall could see that he was getting upset. “Daddy, please. This is hard enough for both of us already.”

“For both of you? He is abandoning you and your daughter and you are letting him do it?” It was taking everything he had not to go after the kid right then.

She shook her head. “That’s not what is happening, Daddy. Cason isn’t abandoning us. He is finishing school. That is all. Once he is finished, he’ll be back.”

Campbell was still very skeptical about all of this. “You both are wanting your mother and I to take care of Victoria until he finishes school then just hand her over to a father who doesn’t care enough about her not to take care of her himself?”

“Daddy, please. He needs to finish school so he can take care her. The chances of me being here to see her grow up aren’t looking the best at the moment. Cason will be all she has and he is doing what he has to do to make sure she has the best future that he can give her.”

He saw the look in her father’s eyes and immediately regretted what she had said. “Daddy, I’m sorry.”

11-13-20_12-18-38 AM

He shook his head.”You are going to get better, Kyndall. You did once already. You can again.”

It wasn’t a conversation she was going to have with her dad at the time. He was already grieving his grandfather. She wasn’t going to make that worse for him.

“I’m getting tired. I’m going to go lay down until Victoria wakes up again.”

She hugged her dad tight. “I love you, Daddy.”


7:36 Bound To You

09-25-20_5-45-30 PM

Kyndall and Victoria were released from the hospital. Cason drove them home instead of hre parents. He had spent a lot of time at the hospital with her and their daughter. Kyndall was hoping it was a sign that he was ready to step up and help with Victoria. It was going to be a talk they would have to have soon. She would need to know what would happen to their daughter if her treatments failed.

At the house, her father took Victoria up to the nursery and told her to sit down and rest. She was actually feeling pretty good for the first time in awhile, but she wasn’t going to argue with her dad. She sat down on the sofa near her mom and waited for Cason to sit with them.

10-13-20_1-15-07 PM

“Do you feel up to going to grab something to eat? We won’t be gone for long.”

Kyndall shook her head. “Not tonight, Cason. We just got home. I’d like to spend some time with Victoria for a bit before going to bed.”

She was a bit annoyed by the disappointed look on his face when she turned down his offer of going out. He was going to have to deal with the fact that they had a daughter that needed to be taken care of.

She stood up and headed for the stairs. She was actually surprised when he followed her.

10-13-20_1-17-12 PM

Kyndall sat in the rocking chair as she watched Cason pick up their daughter. She watched him rock her and softly talk to her. She knew that he would be a great father if he allowed himself to be. 

She smiled softly to herself as she thought about the dreams she once had for her future. This was much like what she dreamed of. Her and Cason together with their children.

It was a future that may stay only in her dreams. Cason had other dreams for his own future. Kyndall didn’t even know if she would have a future. She was doing everything she could to make sure she did, but there were no guarantees.

10-13-20_1-19-09 PM

She watched him lay Victoria back down and stood up. She didn’t want their voices to wake the baby.

“Can we talk tomorrow before you go back to school? There are some important things that we need to discuss.”

Cason looked at their daughter, knowing that she was what Kyndall was referring to as important things. “Yeah. I can come by in the morning.”

He learned toward her and kissed her softly.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. “

She watched him leave and sighed. She wished that real life was as simple as it was in her dreams.


7:35 Everybody Hurts

09-25-20_1-07-30 PM

Kyndall sat talking to her family while Cason met his daughter. She was happy that her father was able to get him to come to the hospital. He seemed happy to see the baby which had been a big change from his first reaction. She was hoping that seeing their daughter would change his mind about wanting to be a part of Victoria’s life. Their daughter needed her father.

She looked around the room and frowned when she couldn’t find her own father. “Mom, where did Daddy go?”

Abbey shook her head. “I don’t know, honey. I haven’t seen him since he left the room to call Cason.”

Philip frowned as he listened. “I’ll go see if I can find him.”


09-25-20_1-19-31 PM

When Philip couldn’t find Campbell in the hospital, he had a feeling he knew where he would be found. 

He parked his car next to his son’s and grabbed his umbrella.  He was able to see Campbell standing in the small cemetery where the family had been buried for the past several generations.  He would give him a few minutes, but not many. He didn’t want his son to end up sick because he was standing in this cold rain.

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As he slowly walked to the gate, he was able to hear Campbell talking to the graves. He knew that Kyndall being sick was hard on him, but it wasn’t until this moment that he realized how scared his son was also.

He quietly opened the gate and walked over to his son. He gently put his hand on Campbell’s shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze.

“You have a beautiful granddaughter, son.”

09-25-20_1-21-46 PM

Campbell looked over at his dad as he let the words sink in. “Is she okay?”

Philip nodded. “She was tucked in her father’s arms sound asleep when I left to find you. Kyndall was looking for you.”

The mention of his daughter made his heart ache. She had been through so much the past several months to bring her own daughter into the world. “Is she…?”

Philip saved him from having to ask and gave his son a small smile. “She’s okay. She still has a long recovery from everything, but right now she is okay. She was sitting on the bed talking to Abbey, your mother, and your grandfather.”

09-25-20_1-21-57 PM

Philip moved over to one of the nearby graves. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been here.”

Campbell moved to his father’s side and looked at the grave of his brother. “It’s okay, Dad. Not everybody visits cemeteries except for funerals. Devin knew that you loved him.”

Philip nodded and looked at his son. “Your daughter knows that you love her. Right now she is scared and needs you to be strong for her, Campbell.”

Campbell looked down at the ground. “I know, Dad. It was just hard for me to be there today and wait when we didn’t know the outcome. I felt like I needed to be here with the rest of our family to help gather strength from them to get through this.”

“I understand. The last time I found you here was the day Kyndall was born and there were problems with Abbey. I remember how scared you were then.” He put his hand on Campbell’s shoulder. “You need to stop living with the ghosts of the past, son. It’s not healthy for you.”

Campbell looked back at the graves and nodded. “I know. I’m not sure why I keep coming to this place every time there is a risk to the lives of someone I love.”

“Because this is where you are afraid they will end up. You can’t think like that though. You have to have faith that they will be okay. Right now, your daughter is in the hospital after just giving birth to your granddaughter. She is starting some pretty aggressive treatments later today to help her get better so she can watch Victoria grow up. She is needing you there with her, Campbell.” He hoped that some of what he was saying was getting through to his son. He knew that all the loss in his life had taken a toll on him and probably always would, but he also knew that he needed to focus on those who were still in his life instead of those he had lost.

“Come back to the hospital with me. Meet your beautiful granddaughter.”

Campbell looked at his dad and nodded. “When they say great grandfather, I don’t think that just means old. You truly are a great grandfather…and an even greater father.”


7:34 (Everything I Do) I Do It For You

08-25-20_1-25-36 PM

Kyndall hadn’t been feeling very well the past few days. She was finally in the last trimester of her pregancy and it was a lot rougher than she had expected it to be. She wasn’t sure how much more of this she would be able to handle. The only thing keeping her going was the baby and wanting to see her daughter born.

She went to find her parents and was not surprised to find them in the living room talking. She hated to interrupt them since they had so little time to talk lately. Her father was always at work, and her mother was always doing things for her.

Campbell had seen her come down the stairs as he was listening to Abbey. He gave her a little smile then frowned as he got a better look at his little girl. He barely had time to stand up and reach before before she collapsed into his arms.


08-25-20_2-39-33 PM

Campbell and Abbey sat and listened to the doctor. They were going to take the baby early. It was a risk for both Kyndall and the baby, but it was a bigger risk to wait. Kyndall and the doctor already had a plan ready for this and what was to happen immediately afterwards.

Campbell looked at his daughter laying on the bed. She was resting while they waited for everything to be ready for her. Abbey discussed things with the doctor while Campbell just listened and had a million thoughts running through his head.

To most people, Campbell probably seemed like a worried father waiting for his grandchild to arrive. To those close to him and those who knew his past, they would see that he was not worried…he was terrified.

08-25-20_2-41-10 PM

Kyndall sat up on the edge of the bed. She looked at her father and frowned. She could tell something was wrong with him, but wasn’t sure what.

“Daddy?”

Campbell looked at his daughter and forced a smile onto her face to help keep her calm. “You okay, Princess?”

She shook her head. “I need Cason here, Daddy. Can you call him for me?”

Campbell nodded and did as she asked even if he was still mad at the boy for the way he had treated his daughter. It was her choice though, not his.


7:33 Daddy’s Hands

07-28-20_12-21-31 PM

 

 

 

 

 

 

Campbell looked at the bills on his computer screen and sighed. At one time, he had a very comfortable bank account balance. It was quickly disappearing though. Kyndall’s medical bills were draining it faster than he could believe possible.

He clicked the button that would send the money from his bank account to the hospital to pay the latest bill.

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Abbey was laughing as she went into the kitchen to start dinner. She heard their daughter mention taking a nap until dinner was ready.  

“You need any help?”

She pointed to the vegetables on the counter. “You could chop those for me if you don’t mind.

Campbell moved to the counter and picked up the knife. He looked at what she was fixing so he would know how to cut the veggies. ” We got another hospital bill today. I plan to pay it tomorrow. I need to move some things around in the accounts first.”

Abbey listened as she added the chicken to the pan and put it in the oven. “I can go back to work if things are that bad.”

Campbell shook his head. “Our daughter needs someone here with her right now.”

07-28-20_1-01-46 PM

When dinner was ready, Abbey went upstairs to wake Kyndall. She stopped near the bed and just watched her daughter sleep. Even thought she was trying her best to be supportive and strong, all she wanted to do was cry about how unfair it was that her little girl was going through this again. The first time was bad enough. This time was much worse. There was so much more at stake this time.


7:32 Didn’t We Almost Have It All

07-26-20_12-33-01 PM - CopyAbbey stood beside her daughter outside of the house. They had just left the dean’s office where Kyndall had withdrawn from the university and gotten the promise that she would be able to return in the future and pick up where she had left off with her studies. The only thing left was to collect her things from the house she had shared with Cason, Amira, and Bryan.

“You don’t have to do this, Sweetheart. You can wait in the car, and I can get your things for you.”

Kyndall knew her mother was trying to be helpfull and keep her from having to see Cason. After their last time together, she wasn’t sure how seeing him this time would be.

“It’s okay, Mom. I really want to see Amira and Bryan.”

Abbey wasn’t sure her going in there was a good idea, but she wasn’t going to stop her. She knew that her daughter was an adult now and able to make her own decisions…good or bad.

07-26-20_12-33-28 PM - Copy

Kyndall stopped at the door when she got a glance of Cason and their friends through the window. She felt her heart breaking knowing that they would be continuing their lives here on campus without her. That was not what they had planned. 

Abbey watched her daughter closely. She could see the tears starting to fill her eyes.

“Kyndall…”

“I’m okay.” She blinked a few times and took a deep breath. She could do this. She was a strong woman and could handle seeing her friends and packing her things.

07-26-20_12-34-14 PM - Copy

Cason looked up when the door opened. He looked a little surprised to see Kyndall and her mother. He shouldn’t have been though. He knew she would be coming at some point for her things. Amira had offered to take them to her on their next break, but Kyndall turned her offer down. Something about needing to talk to the people at the school anyway.

He looked down at the table. He was still ashamed of how he had acted the last time he had seen her. He knew that he had hurt her and that had never been his intention. He wanted to talk to her and try to explain, but he didn’t know how to start.

He saw the look of sadness on her face when she looked at him and felt even worse than he had before. He watched as she walked toward the stairs. He got up and followed behind her. He needed to talk to her and try to make things right between them. He knew he couldn’t take back the words he had already said, but maybe he could make her understand why he said them.

07-26-20_12-39-20 PM

He walked quietly into the bedroom that the two of them had shared. He watched her gather her things and set them ontop of the dresser. He sat down on the edge of the bed watching her for a moment.

“If I forget anything, can you mail it to me?”

He shook his head as he watched her. “I’ll bring it with me on my next trip home. It will give me an excuse to see you again.”

Kyndall closed her eyes not wanting to cry infront of him. “Don’t do this, Cason. I can’t right now.”

“Come sit with me for a minute. I want to talk to you.”

07-26-20_12-40-55 PM

Kyndall sat down beside him. If he was going to give her more reasons why she shouldn’t have their baby, she was going to leave and let her mother finish.

She was actually surprised when he reached out and took her hand in his. “Cason…”

“Just hear me out, please.” He waited until she stopped trying to take her hand from his. “First, I’m sorry. My reaction the other day was not how I truly feel, Kyndall.”

She shook her head and tried again to pull away from him. “First reactions are usually the most honest, Cason. You made yourself very clear.”

He tightened his hold on her hand a little so she couldn’t pull it away. “That is true, but not in this case. My first reaction was fear of losing you, Kyndall.”

She looked at him frowning when he said that. “You were afraid of losing me, so you broke up with me? That makes no sense, Cason.”

He shook his head. “I didn’t break up with you though.”

This time she did get her hand away from him and turned and looked at him. “You said that if I decide to have our baby, that we are over.”

He nodded and sighed. “I did, but…”

She put her hand up stopping him. “I guess we are over, Cason. I decided to have the baby.”

He was not surprised to hear that. He had actually expected it. He knew how much she loved children. “So are you breaking up with me then?”

She frowned as he said that. “You broke up with me…”

“No I didn’t.”

She sighed and shook her head. “I’m so confused. You said…”

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He leaned over and kissed her softly. “I love you.”

She was too surprised to say anything back to him. “Cason…”

He shook his head and looked at her. “I’m sorry, Kyndall. I don’t want to lose you.” He pulled her hand into his again. “I want to be here for you and our baby.”

She looked at him and could see that he was being honest with her. “Don’t ever do that to me, Cason.”

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He slid his arm around her and pulled her close. He kissed her forehead and smiled softly. “I love you, Kyndall. I do want to be here for you and the baby.”

She looked at him thinking about what he said. “I’m leaving school for awhile, Cason. The doctor wants me back home where I can do some of the treatments that are safe for the baby.”

He pulled back a bit looking at her. “Really? There are treatments that you are able to do?”

She nodded. “I had a long talk with the doctor a few days ago. We covered all sides and all of the possibilities. None of the options are a hundred percent. I decided to do what would be the best for both me and our baby. I have a treatment plan in place.  We’re going to use the baby safe stuff until he or she is born, then go hard and heavy with the other stuff afterwards.”

He was glad that she had a plan in place with her doctor. He kissed her forehead again. “I wish we didn’t have to make choices like this.”

She wasn’t going to point out that it was her who had made the choice, not him. She wasn’t in the mood for another fight with him. There were bigger issues to deal with at the moment. 

“I should start packing my things.”

She looked at him confused. “What do you mean?”

“I want to be with you through this, Kyndall. I can’t do that if I’m here and you aren’t.”

She shook her head. “Don’t leave school, Cason. It’s too important. You need to stay and finish.”

“I need to be with you and take care of you.”

She softly caressed his cheek and smiled. “My parents can do that, darling. You need to finish school. That is what me and the baby need most from you right now.”

He looked into her eyes then nodded. “Okay. I’m going to miss you being here.”

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He pulled himself away from her and stood up. “Come here. I have something for you.”

She looked at him questioning what he was doing but did as he asked. “What’s going on, Cason?”

“Turn around and keep your back towards me.”

She turned and did as he asked, hoping he would let her know what this was about soon. She heard him doing something in one of the desk drawers. She was tempted to see what he was doing, but didn’t.

“You can turn around.”

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Kyndall turned and saw Cason on his knee holding something out to her. “Cason…?”

He smiled as he looked up at her. “Marry me, Kyndall. It was something we have already talked about. We know it is going to happen someday. Just tell me now that you will. Once you are better, we’ll have that big wedding you always dreamed of having.”

She leaned down and kissed him softly. “I love you.”

“Is that a yes.”

“It is.”

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He stood up and kissed her softly. “Everything will be alright. I know it will be.”

She hoped he was right.


7:31 Climb Every Mountain

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Kyndall spent a long time thinking about what her choices were. She considered all of her options and weighed the pros and cons of each. She did research  on the computer to find out the chances of her surviving if she decided to have the baby. She wanted to make this decision with all of the information.

She felt her stomach turning. She wasn’t sure if it was the leukemia, the stress, or the baby just trying to make its presence known. She moved to the bed and laid down to rest and think for a bit. She was feeling so overwhelmed with everything, but she wanted to make the right decision for her and the baby. She wished she had someone she could talk to, but everybody seemed set on her ending the pregnancy. She wanted someone she could actually discuss the options with and not be told what she should do.

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After the nausea passed, she called Dr. Roche to see if she would be able to talk to him. She wanted to discuss what would happen with both of the options so she could make a better decision. Maybe without her parents there, he would be more open to discussing the options with her.

“I can give you something to help with the nausea. It is safe for the baby and for you.”

She was grateful to him for doing that for her.

“Since you are here alone, I am going to assume that your parents were not told about this visit.”

Kyndall nodded. “I am an adult and can make the decision myself. I need to do this on my own without them pressuring me.” 

Dr. Roche nodded his understanding and listened to her. He knew that this was a tough decision for her to have to make. “How about if we discuss what to expect from both scenarios? That should help you make your decision.”

She was happy that he said that. It was what she was there. “That would be great.

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An hour later, Kyndall was feeling good about the choice she had made. They had set up a treatment plan that would begin the following week. She knew that the choice was the right one and now that it was written down, signed by her and the doctor, and put in her file, she was feeling good about it. 

As she left the office, she wanted to go see Cason. She knew that she couldn’t. Not after what he had said to her. It still hurt too much.

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At the house, Kyndall paused before going inside. She could see her parents through the window. They looked so happy and still so much in love after all these years. 

She laid her hand over her stomach and thought of Cason. She had planned on him being the man she would spend the rest of her life with. Now she wasn’t so sure that would happen.