Campbell could hear what they were saying. They thought he was asleep, but he was listening. He could hear the pain in his parents’ voices. Hearing his mother crying hurt him more than anything else. Knowing that he was the reason for his mother’s tears and suffering was more than he could handle.
He knew that he didn’t want to keep hurting them. It seemed to be all he did to them. Every since he was a teenager and that party when he was arrested the first time. Ever since that night, all he did was make his mother cry and his father worry. He didn’t want to think about what he was doing to his grandfather, the one man that he had always wanted to make proud of him. The one man that he had continuously let down even though he never meant to.
He listened to his grandfather tell them that he was going to hold off on his retirement and that he didn’t feel that Campbell was ready to take over the business yet. That hurt. That had been his dream and he had fucked it up.
He listened to his father ask about selling his house and making him move back in with them so they could keep an eye on him. He realized that his family no longer trusted him to be on his own and make smart choices.
He knew it was his fault. What he had done wasn’t like the previous times when he was just having fun and it got out of hand. This time he had deliberately set out to not only destroy his life, but to end it completely.
He had almost accomplished what he had set out to do. He had heard the doctor tell his family that they found him just in time to save him. Much longer out there and he would be a vegetable or worm food.
Since his father ruined his plan of joining Devin and Rita, he had to come up with another plan to stop hurting his family. He had to get away from them and go somewhere his family wouldn’t find him.
It would probably hurt them when he left, but that pain would pass. They would be able to move on with their lives and not worry about what he would do next to fuck everything up.
He laid there listening to them making plans for his life while he made his own plans.